As Sam tries to rush through the 12 steps, Carol comes to face her book club learning the truth about her daughter.
|Directed By||Katrelle N. Kindred|
|Written By||Jessica Watson|
|Introduced This Episode|
Babysteps – Olivia, Sam
With nearly reaching day 30, Sam is ready to speed through the steps, and Olivia tells her to slow down. Right now, Sam wants to make amends with Brit, handle that, and press forward, but in Olivia’s mind, Sam is barely able to handle her triggers.
Which is why hearing Sam hangs out at bars is troubling to her. But, for Sam, she doesn’t know where else to go for fun and, honestly, club sodas, dancing sober? That is more of a challenge than being in a bar.
Let’s Just Blow Up What We’ve Been Working For – Gail, Carol, Bob, Sam, Felicia, Brit, Joel, Zack
Rather than heed Olivia’s words, Sam tries to make amends with Brit, but the problem is she isn’t in a good place yet. She isn’t over Brit being with her ex and a series of other things, which makes it clear to Brit that Sam is just wasting her time. Which is quite precious since Brit’s job, which seems to deal with dead bodies, doesn’t allow her much time off, and Sam decided to pull all this on Brit’s birthday.
Though, to make matters worse, Felicia realizes that Sam was using her for a ride. Then, considering she brought her kid into it this user situation? Oh, Felicia is done. Especially since Sam, to talk to Brit, abandoned Zack, Felicia’s kid, with Joel – a complete stranger! Luckily though, despite all she did and said, Joel and Brit are nice enough to drive Sam home.
A place that is also a bit tumultuous due to Gail, Sam’s probation officer, showing up, and then Bob deciding to invite her in! This pretty much coerces Carol to reveal Sam’s situation, but with being honest and not putting up a front, she feels a bit freer. Particularly regarding her anger about Sam’s predicament and how much it has affected Carol’s life.
It Might Be Too Soon For Brit, But Not Felicia – Felicia, Sam
While Brit is a long way from truly forgiving Sam, Felicia is easier to win over. After all, Felicia is Sam’s emergency contact, Sam is Zack’s godmother, and all Felicia wants is for her and Sam’s relationship to evolve a bit. Yeah, Felicia likes to drink and have a good time, but she’s fine with watching reality TV on the couch and saving some money by not having to pay a sitter. It’s just she wants to keep up with Sam, do what she wants, and try to be a good friend.
Sam gets this, and that’s why she commits to being a better friend to Felicia and, while odd to do so sober, she joins Felicia in singing “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus, without a drop of liquor in her, and thus making it past day 30.
Collected Quote(s) & .Gifs
An apology is words. An amends is action. “I’m sorry” is like jumping over a puddle. An amends is rebuilding a bridge you blew up.
Show up for the people that matter and they will start showing up for you.
Things To Note | Question(s) Left Unanswered
Question(s) Left Unanswered
- How bad was Olivia when she was actively drinking?
- Does Sam have family outside of her mom?
What Could Happen Next
- Carol possibly questioning how much of a role she may have played in Sam becoming an alcoholic
Felicia Beings More Than A Good Time
When we were introduced to Felicia, it seemed like she would solely be a hot mess. Someone Sam got drunk with, would likely tempt her and be a bad influence. Yet, in this episode, Felicia was given layers. She became more than a hot mess with an accent and showed us there is more to her than meets the eye. She’s a good mom, a good friend, has a whole life outside of Sam but wants to maintain that friendship, so she tries to be flexible. Which is all she wants from Sam, to show the same consideration and some reciprocity. The kind of thing that, with Felicia being a parent, and Sam sober, is needed for their relationship to evolve.
How Olivia Both Brings Comical Moments, Yet Also Can Be Your Vicarious Sponsor
Olivia’s dry humor is top-notch. However, what I think also needs to be appreciated is that, similar to Oliver and Jacqueline on The Bold Type, you can see Olivia as the mentor you wish you had, if not sponsor, if you are in NA or AA. Her patience, kindness, accessibility, it is giving Sam what she needs, even though she wants so much more.
I’d even say it really makes you hope Olivia doesn’t fall off the wagon but, if she does, here is hoping Sam gets to play the role of sponsor and return the love and care Olivia has shown her and likely will continue to do.
The Challenge Of Changing Your Habits
One of the reasons change is hard is because it isn’t just an internal thing. You can’t decide to stop drinking, smoking, or doing other things bad for you, yet keep all the same patterns you had in life. Old places lead to old habits, and the people you knew before can be triggering, even if good people. Felicia’s drinking, having fun, living without a care in the world, even if for a moment, can be a temptation.
Dealing with Brit, seeing her with the guy you used to date, happy without you, and perhaps better without you too? That’s a trigger. Add in a bar, your favorite things to do while drunk, like dancing and karaoke, and it helps you understand why Olivia’s life seems tame, routine, and a bit boring. In many ways, boring is safe, boring is reliable, and for some, schedules, marking off things, sticking to a list, it brings a sense of accomplishment which may not bring that same feeling of drinking, but it is sure as hell better than a club soda.
The question is, as Sam takes note of how Olivia lives and questions how she can suffer so, what will Sam pick up or change for the sake of her sobriety?
Accountability All Around!
While Sam is pressured to be accountable, it seems Carol is too. Not directly, but with the book club talking about generational trauma and accountability, you can see Carol internalizing the general conversation. Which makes you wonder, with her talking about thinking so much about Sam, does she blame herself at all? Is there a family secret about drinking, among other issues, that she isn’t telling Sam? Is there perhaps some shame, maybe in the form of Carol having bad habits, or Sam’s dad, that are being hidden?
Right now, little is known about Sam’s dad beyond having cancer, and not much more about Carol, besides her being part of a book club and dating Bob. So here is hoping that she doesn’t remain a mystery for too much longer. The show could use her being developed a bit more.
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