War On Everyone – Overview/ Review (with Spoilers)

Unfortunately, being offensively funny has become a thing and for some reason, it is assumed anyone can do it. On top of that, it is assumed that as long as it is funny, you can get away with saying anything. But what happens when two unlikable anti-heroes aim for anyone and everyone and damn near every joke fails? Well, you get this pool of post-asparagus piss.

Noted Actor(s)

Bob (Michael Peña) | Terry (Alexander Skarsgård) | Jackie (Tessa Thompson)

Characters & Storyline

Both Bob and Terry are corrupt cops working in New Mexico. They have a past dealing with assaulting a fellow officer, bribery, and corruption. All of which, despite their nonchalant attitudes about it, somehow have not gotten them fired yet. However, rather than go straight and narrow, or at least attempt to, they decide to go head-on into perhaps one last big score where if they get caught, at least they should be set for life.

Highlights

Terry and Jackie Were A Cute couple

Jackie, played by Tessa Thompson, honestly was the silver lining of this really horrible movie. She helped make Terry’s character more than just some reckless and uncouth idiot. She made you actually give a damn about someone’s life in this movie, and while didn’t redeem Terry, her relationship with him was cute enough to remind you why Alexander Skarsgard has a career.

Criticism

Outside of the Above, It Has No Redeemable Qualities

This film is not funny at all. It tries to be with racial jokes, jokes about people’s sexuality, and petty jokes dealing with people who Bob and Terry kicked the ass of, but arguably Michael Pena still isn’t at that point in his career where he can be a compelling leading man (even in Cesar Chavez he couldn’t hold a candle to America Ferrera and Rosario Dawson). Then with Skarsgard, like Pena, it seems he needs a stronger actor by his side, or as the star, in order to even seem decent. Together, though, there is no one who seems capable of giving me anything to really sell this movie to you.

And while I could mention how Theo James and the many others also don’t contribute much to this movie, honestly this movie is not even worth spending time breaking down how unworthy of your time it is.

Overall: Negative (Skip It)

Films like these remind you that while people may not find Seth Rogen, Seth MacFarlane, and others who make crude, racist, sexist, and etc jokes for a living, funny, it is still a skill. One which is completely devoid in John Michael McDonagh’s script and these actor’s performance. To the point I fully expect this to bomb when released.