I May Destroy You: Season 1 Episode 11 “Would You Like To Know The Sex” – Recap/ Review with Spoilers

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Just as Arabella hits a financial rock bottom, a few old faces reappear. Including the two who sent her life in a tailspin for nearly a year.

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Director(s)	Sam Miller, Michaela Coel
Writer(s)	Michaela Coel
Aired (HBO)	7/13/2020
Introduced This Episode
Kai	Tyler Luke Cunningham
Tyrone	Gershwyn Eustache Jnr
David	Lewis Reeves
Tariq	Chin Nyenwe

This content contains pertinent spoilers.

Recap

Not Forgiven, But Not Punished – Tyrone, Kwame. Nilufer

Kwame tries to make peace and amends with Nilufer, since things were going well until he revealed his sexuality. However, she is seriously miffed and exhibits all the anger Arabella thought she would have. But, being that Kwame came to her with genuine hope to reconcile and that not being possible, his slate seems to be clean, and he releases himself.

But, even without a guilty conscience or some fear karma may bite him in the ass, Kwame being in what sounds like a real relationship is hard. Tyrone takes him out on actual dates, be it to art exhibits, or even to a farm one time, and it is perplexing to Kwame. Yet, at the same time, he likes it. It’s just trying to reconcile being with someone right for you v. you not necessarily thinking you are good for them? How do you deal with that? Especially when you recognize the work required?

I’m No Prude – Terry, Kai

So, the guy at the restaurant? Well, Terry goes on a date with them, and with them being a bit cagey, she decides to dig into their story, and that is how and when she learns they are trans. Which, for Terry, is awkward and forces her to confront her feelings. After all, she is attracted to Kai, but then this new information was presented.

However, after being called a prude, and feeling the need to prove she isn’t, they get a rhythm going. Also, Terry realizes her threesome was planned by the two other men. Which doesn’t dampen the experience as much as it makes it awkward.

When The Block Is Gone & Pieces Come Together – David, Tariq, Arabella, Susy, Zain

After reading a book named “The Sundial,” Arabella feels like she has found a kindred spirit. So, with that in mind, she seeks them out on Twitter, and after messaging them, she gets blocked. Okay. She then decides to go to Susy, who is more so interested in Arabella’s progress than any potential networking.

Oh, Arabella hasn’t made progress? Well, this leads to Susy rescinding the commissions and Arabella losing her agent. But, when it rains, don’t it pour? For with the author of “The Sundial,” Della, messaging Arabella back, a meet is set up, and she comes to find out it’s Zain!

You see, Susy didn’t want to drop him, but realized they couldn’t just wait things out. So, they gave Zain a pseudonym and kept it pushing. Showing that Susy, while skin folk, isn’t kinfolk, and is definitely a capitalist at heart. But, in a way, she did give Bella a gift. While Zain did take off the condom and ejaculate inside Arabella, without her permission, he is still a good writer, and there was enough there to salvage a friendship. One that allows Arabella to possibly put together the notes she has written into a cohesive book.

But, while the rain poured and the flowers grew, unfortunately, or maybe, fortunately, the rain also wipes away the blockage that kept Arabella from remembering what happened that night. Thus leading to, while sitting outside Ego Death, a “That’s So Raven” moment when seeing David, her rapist, and Tariq, David’s lookout, triggers the memory of what happened that night.

Review

Highlights

The Pursuit Of Reconciliation

Kwame seeking forgiveness, and Zain doing the same, were very odd situations. Yet, there isn’t a definitive way to apologize or be excused from such transgressions. Be it in something private, like Kwame had, or if it was public, as Zain experienced when Arabella broadcasted what he did. For while we are knee-deep in holding people accountable and canceling them, being that so many situations are held in the court of public opinion, it still isn’t clear what the restitution is.

Yet, what doesn’t begin with an acknowledgment of what was done and an apology? Granted, as seen with Nilufer, your apology could be rejected, as is the other person’s right. But then, even if not forgiven, as Zain doesn’t seem to be, you could be given the opportunity to make amends. So even if an apology isn’t given, at the same time you can say that you tried, you took up the opportunity to make amends, and while it may never be enough, you did try to show the summary of your person isn’t that f***ed up decision you made.

Kwame In A Relationship

I can not understate the joy that comes from seeing Kwame discover love, and it be with another Black man. Alongside that, Kwame trying to navigate his feelings of worthiness and trying to understand the work that is involved in being in a relationship. For while we see he has heterosexual examples, does he have any homosexual ones? Also, lest we forget, Kwame is used to mostly having sex with strangers and not experiencing intimacy beyond that.

So here is hoping we get one or two more conversations between Kwame and Tyrone before the season ends.

Terry Confronted About Her Preference

While I wished Kai showed up far earlier than he did, so that they could really explore their story and Terry dating them, better late than never, right? Still, like with Kwame, I hope we get further conversation about the situation. For with consent being such a big thing, alongside what a person should and shouldn’t have to reveal, so comes the question of how that would apply to trans people.

Which, in this case, is a trans man, and with them often left out and their stories not touched upon, it further makes me wish Kai didn’t come up in the penultimate episode.

The Rapist Has Been Spotted

There was this vibe that Arabella wouldn’t find or see their rapist, and that was going to represent the many who would have to live without justice or even knowing who the perpetrator is. But, thankfully, “I May Destroy You” isn’t going to end that way. A memory gets put back in place, and the rapist has been spotted, alongside their associate who seemingly helped them plan how it all would go down. Which makes you wonder, when it comes to stories on this show, how many are connected? For you almost get a vibe that Arabella’s situation is similar to Terry’s, but it just happened to go down a more consensual path.

Overall

Trajectory – Plateau

HBO truly has proven they are excellent curators. In its penultimate episode, “I May Destroy You” still pushes you to think, ask questions, and forces you into your own discussions for the show has no desire to provide definitive answers. It maintains the goal of being a conversation starter than a how-to guide.

Where To Watch

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