Euphoria: Season 2/ Episode 8 “All My Life, My Heart Has Yearned for a Thing I Cannot Name” [Finale] – Recap/ Review (with Spoilers)

Playbill for Our Life

Alongside seeing how things end for Fez and Ashtray, we see the end of Lexi’s play and the aftermath of her putting a mirror on everyone’s in her life.

Alongside seeing how things end for Fez and Ashtray, we see the end of Lexi’s play and the aftermath of her putting a mirror on everyone’s in her life.

Aired 2/27/2022
Network HBO
Directed By Sam Levinson
Written By Sam Levinson


If You Stay Ready, You’re Always Too Ready For When The Moment Hits – Ashtray, Custer, Fez, Faye

So why didn’t Fez end up at Lexi’s play? Well, because he got arrested. Custer was trying to get Fez to snitch on himself or Ashtray, and Faye was able to successfully warn Fez not to say anything. However, Ashtray, who stays ready, seemingly mixed his signals with Fez and decided to stab Custer in the neck while the police listened in.

Acting fast, Fez tries to get Ashtray to agree to let him take the fall, but Ashtray refuses. In fact, Ashtray preps all the weapons they have and holds himself up in the bedroom as Fez begs for him to come out, even after the SWAT teams busts through the door. But, undeterred, Ashtray gets locked and loaded and thus begins a firefight. One that leads to Ashtray taking out a cop and getting shot in the head for doing so.

Fez as his home is being raided

As for Faye and Fez? Faye went to the ground as soon as the flash grenade rolled inside, and Fez? Despite being shot in the abdomen, he is taken out alive, but it isn’t clear what will become of him. Never mind his grandmother.

And The Play Continues – Cassie, Maddy, Lexi, Suze, Rue, Jules, Elliot

After Cassie bursts onto the stage, with Suze close behind, and makes a fool of herself, Maddy pretty much drags her off, and they fight throughout the halls. But, in the long run, it seems Maddy realizes this is it for her. All this drama is just not meant for her, and Cassie made her decision to pick someone that Maddy’s last few years has shown her is toxic. So with Cassie making this decision, Maddy tells her this is only the beginning, and it seems she is done.

But she isn’t the only person who is done with someone she has a history with. Rue forgives Elliot for snitching and thanks him for triggering what led her to get clean for real this time. Also, when Jules and Rue speak, Rue just kisses Jules, and seemingly those are her final kisses goodbye, for she is done with her too. At this point, after watching Lexi’s play, Rue realizes where she maybe went wrong.

For while everyone from Elliot to Jules, Cassie, Maddy, and more judged her and didn’t seem to understand what she was going through, Lexi did. She gave her grace through her play, showed understanding, and made it clear that she needs to invest in that friendship. Everyone else, those relationships, were born out of desperation and shame.

The Epilogue – Rue, Lexi, Nate, Cal

Rue revealing she stayed clean for months

From what Rue tells us, she stayed clean for the rest of the school year, making it so she stayed clean for at least 90 days. Now, what helped? Well, Lexi. Beyond the play, it seems that the friendship that got Rue through the first days of her father’s death has now become a means to stay sober.

Note, unlike Rue’s relationship with Jules, Lexi is not a crutch. In many ways, that vulnerability and openness that Rue saw through the play seemed to allow Rue to reconnect with her best friend and realize that she gets it in a way. For with Lexi’s dad being an addict of a different drug, thus him being absent from her life, she knows what it means to feel like something is missing. Lexi understands the long goodbye and not even just through her dad, but through remaining in Rue’s life as well. And maybe with her waiting, and still not judging Rue, that is why Rue decides to reinvest in that friendship after all this time.

But while Rue and Lexi back reconcile, Nate decides it is was time to end what could ever be with his father. You see, Nate, after Lexi’s play, goes to find his dad, and with seeing him hanging out with people from his sex tapes, Nate realizes his dad isn’t going to change, at least for the better. So he turns his dad in as an act of revenge and seems ready to truly move on with his life.

Things To Note

  • Unexpected Content Advisory: Violence (Gun Violence)

Question(s) Left Unanswered

  1. So, about Laurie and her selling Rue into sex slavery to pay off all those drugs – what happened to that?
  2. Why wasn’t Leslie and Gia at Lexi’s play?
  3. Considering Cal was a major developer for the town, how will they handle all those properties he was building that now won’t be finished?
  4. Where has Robert and Leslie’s family been since the funeral?
  5. So what is going to happen to Fez’s grandmother now?
  6. Will Lexi and Bobbi remain friends after all of this?
  7. Considering we haven’t seen Faye do drugs in a long time, is she clean at this point?
  8. With Faye mentioning Laurie multiple times, will the police direct any attention towards her? Thus solving the issue of Rue getting away with not paying her back?
  9. How old is Rue when she recounts everything we see? Since clearly, her future self is telling us this story?

What Could Happen Next

  1. Either Fez is going to jail, or Faye is going to take the hit for him
  2. Rue and Lexi are going to grow closer
  3. Rue is going to watch Gia go through everything she did, or something similar
  4. Cassie is going to try to leave Nate alone
  5. Cal is going to the same prison Fez will
  6. Rue will likely stay away from Elliot and Jules
  7. Lexi visiting Fez in prison

Collected Quote(s)

I have a lot of “I’m sorry’s” to do. But not a lot of “I forgive you’s.”
— Rue



Understanding Lexi and Rue’s Relationship Better

Rue and Lexi cuddled up

Even in season 1, it was noted Rue and Lexi were friends, but with the inclusion of Jules in season 1 and then Elliot in season 2, Lexi faded more and more to the background until, as Lexi said, she wasn’t even sure if they were friends anymore. But, in this episode, I think we get to finally understand what happened. For Rue, her misery needed company, and finding Jules gave her someone who was equally miserable.

Jules was going through it with her thing with Nate, Cal, and the chaos of being a new kid absorbed by the love-bombing Rue was willing to give. Which, often for Jules, made for a nice placeholder for what she really wanted. And by making Rue miserable, Rue got what she thought she deserved. Someone who couldn’t be consistent, accessible, and allow her to be as vulnerable as she needed to be, for she had to be prepped for the worst and hope for the best, with the worst being Jules moving on and the best being her choosing Rue on a case by case, day by day, basis.

Then with Elliot, that was an enabler. He didn’t expect or even want Rue to get better, he wanted her down in the dirt with him, and there was something nice about not being judged by someone. It felt like Elliot got it. He understood being high, avoiding things, it was nice and more people should do it more often. Yet, while Rue has long been willing to be sick and even commit to the idea she isn’t meant to be alive long, there is something about being with someone willing to speed that up that seems wrong.

Lexi, on the other hand, strangely Rue didn’t feel abandoned by her, but I think she understood she messed that up and perhaps stood away because she realized, when she introduced Lexi to Fez, this wasn’t a life Lexi wanted. So out of respect for what they had, she distanced herself when at her worse and kept Lexi in the dark.

Yet, Lexi still knew because she isn’t blind. However, what Lexi never did was overstep. This could seem like the worst thing to do if you’re friend is an addict, but for Rue, it seems she appreciated Lexi didn’t break her trust by going to her mom, got involved by trying to get her clean, and simply just tried to be her friend when Rue was open to it.

In many ways, that allowed them to get back to where they were. Not because Lexi minded her business but realized she couldn’t make Rue’s pain better, so the least she could do is not make it worse. And if Rue talking about her dad revealed anything, it was that she didn’t want someone to justify or make light of her pain. Rue just wanted to work her way through it.

Maddy Moving On

In a way, just like Rue will always love Jules, despite how things went down, that is how Maddy feels about Cassie. Yet, after her relationship with Nate, Maddy seems to have realized that she can’t be with people who bring out the worst in her. Never mind, after Nate traumatized her, deal with people who know her buttons, yet they decide to push them anyway.

Maddy made it clear she didn’t know where she and Nate were, but they were talking, and yet Cassie decided that just because Nate and Maddy weren’t together, she had the green light. No. Things were complicated and Cassie inserting herself made them worse. And if she could screw her over like that, who is to say what else she is capable of?

So, in the long run, it seemed Maddy accepted that what Nate will likely do to Cassie is much worse than a beat-down Maddy could dish out. And while she may not be there to see it, she can at least be glad it won’t be her on the receiving end of the emotional and potentially physical abuse.

The Exhausting End To Ashtray

Ashtray before the end of his life

It’s easy to forget Fez and Ashtray are drug dealers, and while Fez may have kept Rue from the harder stuff they sold, that does not mean he gave a damn for all others. And for that, he and Ashtray had to pay the piper. These two, raised by Grandma Mary, had a volatile mix of her masculine and feminine traits. Fez tries to harness the feminine and be nurturing, empathetic, patient, and pursue peace. Now, this isn’t to say, as shown with Nate, he wasn’t about violence, but that wasn’t Fez’s go-to.

As for Ashtray? The violence of Grandma Mary was what he took on, that masculine energy that led to Fez’s father getting shot on sight. But with that, in Ashtray being the protector who wasn’t really much for communication, just action, that is how he slipped up. Him not understanding body language, just recognizing a threat, got someone killed and destroyed the family he long was trying to keep together.

Thus giving us a devastating end to two favorites and leaving us with Ashtray dead in the bathroom, of a shot to the head, and us not knowing if Fez got the medical attention he needs or what may happen at his trial. Never mind, with Faye saying Laurie killed Mouse, what may come of that?

The Feeling Of This Being The End

Maddy noting this is just the beginning

Unlike most shows, you can’t foresee Euphoria as a once-a-year outing because too many of its cast members are getting bigger and better projects. So, considering the time it could be between seasons, if not like the specials we got, this being the end isn’t a terrible idea. Rue is at least a few months clean, all on her own, and with avoiding Jules and Elliot, she is avoiding the triggers and people who could send her back down the rabbit hole.

With dropping Cassie to suffer on her own and no longer having Nate in her life, Maddy could start anew, as she noted to Samantha. And while, yes, there is a need to question what might have happened to Kat, Fez, and so many others, what finale ever gives everyone what they’d want? It just doesn’t happen.

On The Fence

Focusing Way Too Long On Elliot’s Song

Don’t get me wrong, Elliot’s song could have been cute since it essentially was about his and Rue’s relationship, or friendship, rather. My issue is it just focused on those two in the room, and the song went entirely too long for someone just working on it.

Nate’s Scene With Cal

Cal as Nate makes it clear he is about to end his fun

Nate’s whole revenge thing, and taking his dad down, I hunched. I get this was Nate’s version of closing a chapter in his life, as many characters were doing. But with Nate just being a chaotic element who rarely felt he was meant to do more than get a reaction out of you, it was hard to be invested in him putting an end to his father’s sex acts. Never mind him ending the nightmare that has plagued him for years.

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