Dare Me: Season 1 Episode 3 “Surrender at Discretion” Recap/ Review (with Spoilers)

As Beth and Addy’s intimacy continues to be complicated by outside forces, Coach French continues to give in to her weakness.

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Beth teasing Addy.

As Beth and Addy’s intimacy continues to be complicated by outside forces, Coach French continues to give in to her weakness.

Directed By Lauren Wolkstein
Written By Ariel Schrag
Aired (USA Network) 1/12/2020

This content contains pertinent spoilers.

Episode Recap

The Enabler: Addy, Coach French, Will

What may have seemed like a one-time thing becomes a consistent deal. Addy comes over, instead of going to work, and watches Colette’s daughter while she hangs out and has sex with Will. Which is becoming so consistent, and a reliable means for Colette to see Will, that she proposes making Addy her daughter’s official babysitter to her husband.

I Knew You Were Different: Tacy, Beth, Addy, Coach French

With Addy spending so much time with Coach French, it creates the appearance she is distancing herself from Beth, and it draws a bit of attention on the squad. However, some of the attention isn’t necessarily welcomed. For example, Tacy, after passing out during an ice bath hazing, speaks to Addy in such a way to praise her and put down Beth. This isn’t tolerated and Addy reminds Tacy they are not friends – and likely never will be.

However, she isn’t alone in putting down Beth. Coach French questions why Addy was never the leader, and it becomes clear that she has long been used to Beth playing the reckless captain and her being the lieutenant which kept her from going too far. Thus creating this almost mommy/daddy appearance that many on the squad joke about. But with Coach French around, it seems Beth might be experiencing a divorce similar to how her parent’s marriage ended.

I Dreamed Of You Breaking My Heart: Beth, Addy, Coach French

Addy is attracted to Coach French, and one could submit there is an attraction to Beth as well. We can’t and won’t say it is sexual or romantic. Addy could very well just be attracted to people who see something in her and that makes her want to be around them. But, as you can imagine, Beth seeing Addy want to spend time with someone else, mirror them, and distance herself from her hurts. In fact, she noted, before the start of the series, that she dreamed Addy would break her heart one day.

But, while that likely will happen one day, Addy reassures Beth with a massage. One which is reciprocated and leads to Addy going from massaging Beth’s shoulders to her thighs, and Beth doing the same.

Beth looking at Addy suspiciously.

Plot Synopsis (A Quick Recap)

  1. Addy and Beth have an intimate relationship, possibly physically intimate, which is why Beth is having such an issue with Addy’s waving loyalty.
  2. Coach’s investment in Addy is allowing her to enable Coach’s affair but is also starting to create a sense of jealousy as she realizes Will is getting in the way of her having alone time with coach.
  3. Tacy is still being pushed to be top girl and, as a rite of passage, Beth challenged her to take an ice bath and outlast her time in it – she doesn’t, passes out, and nearly drowns.

Collected Quote(s) & .Gifs

[…] there’s best, and then there’s wanting it the most and having the discipline to get it.
— Colette

You’re a parachute, open up.
— Colette

Review/ Commentary

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Understanding The Complex Intimacy Between Addy and Beth

What I think has to be understood when it comes to Addy is the different things Beth and Coach French give her. When it comes to Beth, Addy recognizes she calms the chaos, and Beth needs her. Addy is the one who draws the line, backs up Beth, and enhances her power. With Coach French, however, rather than Addy empowering or enabling her, there is reciprocity. Coach French, by training and encouraging Addy, she does what Beth has yet to do since she needs a stable crutch more than she desires a friend.

But what further complicates things for Addy is that Beth has conditioned her in a way. Hence why Addy seeks intimacy from Coach French. Addy associates intimacy as part of the deal. For her to gain some sense of protection or power, she has to give herself over to you. She has to give in to your worst habits, perhaps give bits of her body, and as much as she gives, she also protects. However, the protection is never of her person. Rather, it is protecting the other person, be it Beth or Coach, so that she can continue to receive some form of love, attention, and feelings that distract her from a life that by no means seems fulfilling or that can make her happy in the long term.

Coach French asking if there are things Addy thinks she can't have?
Coach French: Do you ever want things you can’t have?

On The Fence

Tacy & Beth’s Beef

I get why Beth hates the oddly named Tacy, and it is partly due to it being easier to hate the child who became a wrecking ball rather than the person controlling the crane. However, there is a need to wonder if they can ever move past the hatred? From what it seemed, when Beth threw her hoodie to Tacy, it seemed a part of her might hate her, but she found herself pushed towards that thin line between love and hate for a moment.

Leaving you to wonder, when Tacy was growing up, was there ever an effort for her and Beth to get along, or did Beth shut that down? If not her mother? Heck, when Tacy was a child, younger than she is now, did she ever look up to Beth? Could this all be about Tacy wanting to be like or closer to Beth?

Poor Matt

It’s sad really. Matt hasn’t done anything wrong, and Coach doesn’t talk bad about him in any sort of negative manner yet Addy, to show her loyalty, enables her coach’s affair with no regard for Matt. And even us, the viewer, aren’t given any reason to look down on Matt. From what we see, he is trying to earn his wife’s love and affection, like they are still dating, and despite his efforts, she is sleeping with an old high school flame.

Thus crafting the idea, considering Beth is treated as the lead, but Addy the most interesting, maybe in multiple ways we are being shown how she came to be? Perhaps, in a gender-flipped scenario, Colette and Matt exemplify what happened with her parents? If not what is happening in Tacy’s life considering Beth’s dad still comes over every now and then to spend time with her mom?

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Understanding The Complex Intimacy Between Addy and Beth - 85%
Tacy & Beth’s Beef - 75%
Poor Matt - 74%


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